First off, I am excited to say, this is my first blog I am writing from MY office! It’s not really all mine at the moment, I am having to share it with my online learning children, but, it is slowly but surely becoming my own! I even have a white, fluffy chair! (Thank you mom) I have never had a space to get away from the crazy that is the other four people and two dogs that I live with, but Covid did have some positives! A finished office space was one of them! Sometimes it’s the little things in life!
The holidays are once again upon us! It hardly seems possible we are halfway through November already! I have been a bit of a slacker recently as far as writing goes. I think it is simply because I am just struggling to stay afloat right now! 2020 has brought many challenges, and I feel like I am barely treading water between trying to socially distance while still staying connected, my kids learning online some days and in person some days, and all the while trying to keep up with normal day to day life at work and at home! I am emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. I am sure most everyone can relate.
I don’t know about you all, but for me, I feel ill-equipped and under qualified to navigate such a crazy time, and I can be pretty hard on myself about it. Thankfully, my husband is such an amazing guy, he keeps me sane (most days).
As someone who struggles with self-esteem, I have a tendency to constantly look at all of my imperfections, and somehow Jereme can always seem to see past them. When I think I am a hot mess, when I burn dinner, or sleep through my alarm, he is there to reassure me I am doing a good job. When I am down on myself because I have love handles and (a few) gray hairs, he is there to put his arms around me and let me know he doesn’t care a bit about those things. When I struggle with what to wear or how my makeup looks, here comes my husband to let me know, in his eyes, I am beautiful no matter what I am wearing or how dark the circles under my eyes are.
I was pondering this thought earlier and it occurred to me, this is how our heavenly Father views us. The Bible refers to God’s people as the Bride of Christ, and because of the perfect sacrifice found in Jesus, in His eyes, we are flawless. Jesus lived a life of blameless perfection in order to be the spotless lamb needed to wash our hearts clean from our blemishes. When we accept His sacrifice, the Bible says we can be presented before our Bridegroom as holy and blameless. (Ephesians 5)
Are there times I mess up? Of course! But I can rest in the assurance that just as my husband thinks of me as beautiful and capable even when I am falling apart in my own eyes, my heavenly Father sees me as chosen, and a royal priesthood. Thankfully, because of grace, I don’t have to depend on myself to be perfect, I can put my faith in the finish work of the cross and sleep soundly knowing I am in God’s hands.
Ironically, when I was first discovering God’s grace, someone who felt I was slipping away from God altogether said to me, “I hope you never sleep at night.” This was their way of asking God to bring me back to the hamster wheel of legalism. When in actuality, knowing that God loves me enough to send his Son to be the perfect sacrifice, allows me to sleep like a baby! No, seriously, I have never slept so well in my life! I can lay my head on my pillow and realize that even if I blew it hardcore that day, it doesn’t change how God views me.
So, while 2020 has brought out the best and also the worst in many of us, try not to be so hard on yourself. Keep your chin up, you are doing the best you can and God sees you.
In His eyes you are flawless.