The “Truth” Can Hurt

So, the last blog caught some attention. And I’m not going to lie, I am glad.

I know there were some who were severely offended by what I had to say, and that’s okay. I probably would have been too if I had read it while I was still a United Pentecostal.

But let’s be real and honest for a minute. There is no denying someone’s experiences. And while this writing may seem rather cold, blunt, and or offensive it is my truth. As it is the same for so, so many other people.

I have diagnosed PTSD from a church experience. I have panic attacks, anxiety, and restlessness. My children carry scars and reminders, which makes me feel guilty for bringing them up in that environment for as long as I did. My daughter missed out on gymnastics, dance, cheer, sports, basically anything involving physical activity, team building and fun for a child. From this, I feel like it has changed her permanently. I carry this burden as a parent. There are many other specifics I could bring up, but I don’t have the heart to go there right now. Maybe one day…

These are my truths, the harsh reality of many years of living in bondage.

You can say the UPC has the right to believe whatever they want. And that is accurate. Of course they do! You can brush me off as a bitter, rebellious, troublemaker. And that’s okay too. You have the right to think that way. And to be completely transparent, I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t even be angry at you a little bit. What I am hurt and upset about is the bigger picture. The organization in general. It’s nothing personal. Of course, as already stated, you can put your trust in whatever you want! Support and fund whatever you choose, which is why our country is so great! But I challenge you, if you belong to any organization, research the hey out of it before investing your life and your family’s lives!

Did you know the United Pentecostal Church has amended books of early founders to support their current doctrine and republished them?

Were you aware the UPC was founded upon two significantly different viewpoints of salvation, and ministers were allowed to preach salvation upon belief until as late as the 1990’s?

Has it ever been taught to you that “standards” weren’t even a thing in the early movement?

Did you know the Oneness Apostolic religion that morphed into the UPC was founded with racism being a chief component?

These are some of the reasons why the betrayal and hurt is real. These reasons and more are why there are many people in therapy and support groups to help themselves heal after leaving this church.

So, I suppose I am just asking, before you automatically go on the defense, put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Educate yourself and reevaluate.

Jesus has been very real to me the last few years, and since leaving I have felt his loving kindness in my life more than I ever have. I am so thankful for the opportunity to start over, I just wish I had done it sooner. But, I have to think God knows, and his timing is perfect.

Personal growth is imperative and for years I was stagnant, now it feels like I am marching forward in strides. I know that old days of crying in the shower are behind me, and I can’t wait to see where God is taking me in the future.

I am sorry if my blogs offend you. But believe me when I say, it’s nothing personal.

7 Comments on “The “Truth” Can Hurt”

  1. I understand where your coming from
    And you are doing it right as I was doing it wrong I’m very proud and love my chrildren my family my children that they have overcame a lot of it and have turned out hope I did not do to much wrong but I do worry and feel hurt and scares that’s still Exsite in by life still I love the lord and thanks to the church I go to now that helps me threw it. Love you Jennifer and thanks for the blog

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have read your blogs from the beginning and I feel this way. If you and Jereme can lay your heads down at the end of the day with absolutely no regrets regarding your decisions for you and your family, Then you made the right decision. If your kids are happy then you are doing the right thing.

    Liked by 1 person

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