Oh The Chaos In My Head!

I decided from the get go this would not be on a specific time schedule.  I despise those, just ask my husband.  Maybe, it is just because Tuesdays are my scheduled days off and my mind goes all crazy not being at work.  Whatever the case, this time around, this blog proceeds the first by exactly seven days. I can assure you, this will probably not be the norm!

I would also like to disclose, as I am writing and editing, I have one child telling me how he made a timeline for a school project that included him kicking Tigger in his manly parts while at Disney ( he was three at the time, still yet, how embarrassing) and the other asking me how to figure out area of a triangle. All the while both of them are harmonizing to “Baby Shark” in between conversations.  If my writing seems a tad chaotic, well, this is my life.

First, I would like to say, my swimsuit came in yesterday and I adore it!  There were some concerns about the love handle area, but I figure, there is just so much love in my heart nowadays it just overflows and ends up around my waist!

Also, my firstborn turns 16 tomorrow! What?! How did this happen? We have homecoming this weekend, a soccer game, a cross country race, and a hayride!  Not to mention the upcoming drivers test, homecoming decorating and float building my kid is involved in! Whew! That was a lot to type.  Juggling everything is so crazy!  I am incredibly happy my kids’ lives are so full!  They have so many opportunities before them, and I want them to take part in as many as they can.  Growing up in the UPC, both my husband and I had very limited extra curricular activities available to participate in, I just want my kids to do it all! (Yes, I am one of those parents.)

With all this chaos going on around me, you wouldn’t think I would have the time to even think about church hurts or anything else!  I wish that were the case.  The thoughts never seem to leave no matter how busy I get. And today, as I was hanging out with the dog, folding a never-ending pile of laundry, it’s no different.

I read a blog earlier today in which the author was wondering if legalistic people and churches were indeed saved.  He made some pretty compelling points, and I suppose that may have been what started the ball rolling in my head about the whole church thing. Galatians 5:4-6 says “You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law; you have fallen away from grace.  For through the Spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness.  For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love.”

“Severed from Christ”, “fallen away from grace”  those are some pretty strongly worded phrases used by Paul towards the Galatians.  He goes on to say in verse 14 of the same chapter, “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  Wow.  The law is already fulfilled, wrapped up in Jesus and His words to His followers!  I love how Paul quotes Jesus himself here (Matthew 22:39) as he is trying to tell the Galatians not to make things harder than they have to be.

While the thoughts of God and His amazing gift of grace flow through my brain, they are immediately followed by tears and heartache for the many people I know and the thousands more who instead of finding freedom in Jesus, have found themselves “submitting to a yoke of slavery.”  (please read Galatians 5:1)  Living by man made laws and regulations is terribly oppressing, and not at all what our Heavenly Father intended for his children.  Jesus said to take His yoke because His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

There are some days when I feel the shadow of oppression coming back to haunt me, and the burden is so heavy I can barely breathe.  I am taken back to the memory of daily standing in the shower just crying over the heaviness I felt. Not aware of the source.  I am ever so grateful I have found my freedom in Jesus.  The love in which He bestowed upon me when He died on the cross makes me want to follow Him.  Not in embracing any sort of man made religious laws can I ever find such joy and freedom!

I warned you my thoughts were a bit chaotic today!  I suppose that is the purpose of writing. To sort through and untangle the randomness.

Someone mentioned to me this week I am unable to change the world.  That may be the case, but I don’t want to change the whole world.  I want to change me, and in changing me, if I can help someone else on their journey along the way I have accomplished a notable feat.




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